


the moon lives (in the lining of your skin)

by TranscendentDays



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Minor Clarke/Finn, Past Relationship(s), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 21:14:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8176300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TranscendentDays/pseuds/TranscendentDays
Summary: This is a story of becoming. It is a story of understanding, healing and of growth. It follows the journey of Lexa and Clarke as they become complete within themselves. It follows their relationship from its awkward beginning to its growth into something so much more.
This is a story not of need but of want.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys,
> 
> This is my first fic - all mistakes are my own.
> 
> This story focuses on Lexa and Clarke at university. Lexa is going through a bad break-up and Clarke is just trying to figure things out. In a way, this is a coming of age as much as it is a love story.
> 
> Hope you enjoy. :)

Years into the future, as Lexa reflected back on this moment, she would realise.

The feeling that was so ingrained in her bones was fear.

Fear from knowing.

Lexa was aware of the profound power that lay coiled within this girl that seemingly encompassed the joys of the world. Somehow subconsciously, she was well informed of what was to come. And to be perfectly frank, she had not been sure that it was something she wanted.

Did anyone ever truly want something so dangerous, so lethal, that it could render their state of wellbeing to the point of ruin?

Is that not contrary to the survival instinct of humanity?

 

* * *

 

It is in the simple things.

That is something that Lexa learns very early on.

It is one of those very strange hours in the night. The ones lived out in whispers, the ones not sanctioned by the gods. The room is reminiscent of dusk – a rosy tint graces the walls as a soft glow emanates from a lone lamp sitting quietly in the corner. In the centre lays the phenomenon, a gentle yet powerful force, which unknowingly captivates all senses.

Lexa stops silently by the doorway when she sees Clarke, her intentions forgotten.

Clarke sits in front of her canvas, making almost rhythmic strokes against her artistic recreation of the hidden clearing. Her hands flow with ease, as colours begin to dance out from the canvas. A myriad of green hues bask around her, enveloping her very essence.

Lexa watches as Clarke pauses. Her tongue peeks out from the corner of her mouth. Her eyebrows furrow in deep concentration as she tilts her head only just to the left.

Lexa thinks she should enter. Her hands tighten around the small bag, but she hesitates. She does not know why she has not moved.

She has been in this room countless times. In this very spot. Waiting for Clarke as she turns her room inside out looking for her jacket. Visiting Clarke when she is sick to make sure that she eats. Coming over the study. This place is familiar, almost hers.

So Lexa does not know why this moment feels different.

But then Clarke turns. And she smiles.

She smiles as if she has known Lexa was there all along.

And suddenly Lexa understands.


	2. One

It is a few weeks into the semester. It is winter. It is cold.

Well as cold as it gets for Australia but still pretty damn cold. And it is too early in the semester for the library to be this packed.

Lexa sighs in frustration as the third group of the night decides to make this floor their personal hangout spot. She gets it, really she does. People have lives. And not everyone likes to study at night or at all. But she often finds herself wondering whether it is really necessary to play these lives out in the library. At 7.30pm. On a Thursday.

Probably not.

But at least she has her own space. It is one of the reasons she chose this spot – it is hidden. Masked by shelves full of dusty old books on obscure historical topics, it remains a secret to most. She is still grateful that out of all the times she has studied here, she has only been interrupted by someone once.

Lexa types swiftly and effortlessly on her laptop. She needs to get this done tonight if she wants to maintain her one week lead on content. Lexa knows she has at least an hour left before Anya finishes work. Probably longer. Definitely enough time to finish summarising this macroeconomics chapter.

Pretty simple stuff really. Well if you put in the effort. University can be a pain in the ass but Lexa enjoys the independence of learning.

A loud giggle interrupts her. Lexa scrunches her nose slightly in annoyance and her reading glasses begin to slide down.

Her mind drifts and she remembers –

No.

She diverts her mind as quickly as it had moved. A small sigh of relief escapes her when she hears a buzz on the table.

_Little Commander. I’ll be done at 8.30._

Lexa rolls her eyes at the childhood nickname. She can admit to herself, it is a bit fondly. Not one for emotions or tenderness, this is Anya’s version of affection.

_Ah. The prison has finally released you from your newfound shackles._

She can imagine Anya’s snort and eye roll already. It is a family trait she believes.

_Ha. Ha. I’ll have you know it is self-imposed._

Lexa chuckles lightly – she knows just how true those words are. It is something that they both share. An insufferable and unwavering strive to be better.

_That does not make it better…_

_Maybe not but I am definitely making a good impression._

_Plus my office has an awesome view._

Lexa lets out a small huff and shakes her head lightly to herself. As much as Lexa thinks her sister pushes herself a little too hard sometimes, she is happy for her. She quickly types out a reply.

_Definitely. See you soon._

Lexa glances up at the clock. The laughter in the background continues but she ignores it with ease. Time always seems to pass quickly when she concentrates. She likes to think she is almost like an automatic machine when it comes to these things. Sure, she likes to take her time with the content and learn it thoroughly. But her mind tends to block everything else out.

Maybe that is why she does not notice when someone comes up to her table.

“Is anyone sitting here?” a slightly husky voice asks.

The awkward silence would have been uncomfortable

…if she were to notice it.

Suddenly, a messy heap of blonde curls moves into her line of sight.

Lexa immediately stops typing and looks up.

There is a person in front of her. Awkwardly bent over in an attempt to get her attention.

If she were not in shock, Lexa would probably be feeling a few different emotions. But for now, it’s just shock.

“Oh shit sorry” she blurts out.

It takes a minute for her to register what just happened. Her cheeks turn a light shade of red.

“Uh yeah, no one is sitting there”

The person chuckles lightly and sits down with an “okay, thanks”. It is in that moment that Lexa realises.

This girl is beautiful.

Incredibly fucking beautiful.

And her first words to her were “oh shit sorry”.

Real smooth.

Lexa tends to be a well-spoken and articulate person. She has had her fair share of leadership positions in the past. And so, it is definitely a fair call on her part that she is not impressed with herself. She presses her lips into a tight line as her cheeks become warm again.

She musters all her strength to forget everything that just happened as she quickly looks down and continues her notes.

It has been five minutes at most.

It is not that this work is not compelling. Learning about the Keynesian model is definitely appealing to Lexa. But as she stops typing for the tenth time now, she cannot help but think that she is distracted.

And that distraction is sitting right in front of her.

She has not looked up since their awkward meeting. And she definitely does not intend to look up if possible (even though she feels the most frustrating urge to). Lexa wants to avoid any chance for further awkwardness.

Lexa sighs and shrugs it off. She flips the page of her textbook, mentally preparing herself to battle on. That is when it starts.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Lexa thinks she is a pretty patient person. And she is, most of the time. But there are certain things that irk her and repetitive sounds while she is trying to study are definitely high on that list.

But Lexa is patient. And so she ignores it with the arguably naïve hope that it will stop soon.

(It may also have to do with the fact she wants to avoid any further interaction with this girl.)

The tapping does not stop. And Lexa thinks she is doing a pretty damn well good job of ignoring it until it starts to get louder. She has no clue what the girl in front of her is tapping with. She is sure that it has to be some kind of heavy metal rod.

Her lips press into a tight line as her jaw clenches slightly.

Three pages to go before she is done.

_I’ve got this_ – she thinks to herself.

Suddenly she hears a loud clank and before she realises, her head snaps up automatically.

Her expression is sharp and saturated with annoyance. But then the girl looks back at her.

Her eyes are slightly widened and a sheepish smile appears on her lips. A tinge of guilt shadows her features.

Lexa does not notice.

There have been very few instances in which Lexa has not been able to form coherent and logical thoughts. The first time was in late primary school when a girl kissed her and then blushed before running away. And the second was when she watched the aurora lights.

And so this feeling, is not one she expected to have today.

Not that anyone would blame Lexa for it. Not if they were able to see what she is looking at.

Her eyes are blue. If anyone were to ask Lexa to describe them that would probably be her answer. But just because she has no fucking clue how she would describe them.

They are expansive – somehow simultaneously deep and rich but light. Bestowing a sense of sheer wonder into her, they seem to hold some kind of enigmatic power that can be likened to the mysteries of Giza. A dark rich blue that remains bright, they look as if they hold within themselves infinite orbs of light.

“Sorry” the girl says firmly with a slight grimace, but not unkindly.

Lexa snaps out of it and finds herself giving the girl a small smile in return. She has no clue how her expression went from pure annoyance to this.

Well she does, she blames the eyes.

A buzz vibrates against the table and Lexa looks down.

_Nearly there._

She glances up at the clock and frowns. She is going to be late if she does not leave now. Lexa looks back at the girl across from her, who has so studiously returned to her work. The girl’s eyebrows crease downwards adorably as she holds a thick metallic pen suspiciously close to the table surface.

It definitely looks like a metal rod.

Lexa nearly chuckles to herself when she realises she should probably hurry. And not sit there like a weirdo laughing to herself for no perceivable reason.  She quickly packs up her stuff and moves to leave.

Just as she starts to stand the girl looks up towards her and smiles.

If Lexa feels a slight warmth in her chest, she definitely ignores it.

But she cannot help the genuine smile that graces her lips.

//

It is two minutes before the hour mark when Lexa walks into the small Mexican restaurant. Bright shades of red and green proudly cover the walls as antique black and white photographs lay spread around.

Anya is already seated at their normal table. The waitress gives Lexa a warm smile as a flash of recognition crosses her face. This has been their choice of restaurant for years now. It is fun, cheap and pretty damn good.

Lexa sits herself in the small red booth across from Anya who is typing intensively on her phone. This has been a common occurrence since Anya joined the law firm. And Lexa had learnt the hard way that interrupting does not make Anya go faster.

Lexa leans on her hand as she waits.

“Nearly there…”

“…Okay done.”

Anya states with a tone of finality. She puts down her phone and smirks at Lexa.

“Right on time” Anya says.

“You say that like you’re surprised” Lexa replies with a raised eyebrow.

“Nope” Anya responds with nonchalantly.

Lexa chuckles and shakes her head.

“Hey I forgot to ask earlier. Let’s set up Sunday this week” Anya states, her eyes twinkling with mischievous excitement.

“What happened to Doug?” Lexa inquires with an eyebrow raise. She knows Anya had a dinner plans with him this week.

“Doug is no more” Anya replies with a slight hint of annoyance, “He said some really questionable things”

“Shame” Lexa replies with zero force. From what she had heard from Anya, about their first date, he did not sound…likeable. Not that Anya was likely to turn him into a serious thing – she has yet to date anyone seriously.

“Hmm…marriage equality?” Lexa guesses.

“He said the gender pay gap does not exist,” Anya replies with an eye roll.

“Then vehemently argued me on it when I refuted him with the facts.”

“Yep. So Doug no more” Lexa replies with a chuckle.

Anya laughs in response. She misses this. Work is important but she knows she has to put more time in to see Lexa. Especially with how things have been the past few months.

“So how are you?” Anya asks almost awkwardly.

Lexa’s eyes immediately narrow. It seems like an innocent enough question to the average bystander but Lexa can read the micro expressions on her sister’s face. Not to mention, they never engage in small talk, finding it a waste of time.

Lexa raises an eyebrow at her sister’s very poorly concealed effort. A flash of guilt crosses Anya’s face but she stands her ground.

“I’m good” Lexa replies firmly.

Anya’s gaze sharpens – her expression not needing any accompaniment of words. Lexa knows Anya can read her and can tell that she is lying.

“I’m fine Anya, really.” Lexa says, giving a small albeit slightly forced smile.

Anya sighs softly as she sees the sad smile that extends up to her sister’s eyes.

She knows it is the best she is going to get today. Attempting to get Lexa to discuss her emotions had always been as productive as talking to a brick wall.

The waiter arrives at that moment to take their orders. He is completely oblivious to the tension that weighs down around them. He chirpily recites the specials and then takes their order. It is unnecessary really; they always order the same thing.

“So are you ready to lose again in Monopoly on Sunday?” Lexa asks with a cocky smirk.

Lexa is not sure when these occasional Sunday game nights started. But they definitely sparked the competitive streak among the family. A ruthless bloodbath between three for the prestigious title of board game king or queen. Gus may seem gentle on the outside but looks are deceiving. He is just as bad and a clear answer to the question of where Lexa and Anya got it from.

Anya scowls. She knows it is a diversion but, well, Lexa always knows how to distract her. And appealing to her competitive side is definitely the way to go. The score is currently 3 vs 2, Lexa’s way.

Lexa knows she hit a nerve and chuckles. She is in for a ride now.

//

Lexa wraps her jacket more closely against her chest as she stands outside the restaurant, waiting for Anya to pay. The breeze is cold against her skin, induced by the looming darkness that consumes the city ever earlier now that winter has come. The street is quiet but for faint echoes of conversations that float through the air from the restaurant behind. Dim street lights cast a rosy shadow over the shops and terraces lining the walkway. It is one of the reasons she loves this place. It exudes a sense of calmness, the eye of the storm, hidden away from the heavy hustle of the city only a few streets away.

“Come on kid, I’ll drive you home” Anya says from behind as she closes the restaurant door.

“It’s alright, I can just catch a train. I know you have work early tomorrow” Lexa replies as she looks at Anya knowingly.

“You almost make it sound like you didn’t force me to drive you to training three times a week” Anya says sarcastically.

“That was not me and you know it” Lexa shoots back with an eye roll.

Anya flashes a grin.

Gus had been the perpetrator of that. Anya had fought Gus over it for weeks, claiming that she was ‘not a babysitter’ and ‘had better things to do’. Lexa had offered to take the bus even though it takes twice as long just so she wouldn’t have to deal with their bickering. However Anya’s protests only encouraged Gus further and Lexa would roll her eyes whenever he replied with his trademark cheeky smile, claiming Anya’s protests as evidence that they needed some ‘sisterly bonding time’.

Despite Anya’s scowl every time they left the house, those car rides were some of their best memories. Lexa found something incredibly soothing about those quiet moments. Silent rides tinged with tiredness and completely void of expectation. They would talk sometimes, mostly just funny stories although Lexa swears some of stories Anya told were fabricated.

 Gus was right, but neither of them would ever admit it.

“Shut up and get in the car” Anya replies with a mock glare as she opens the car door.

//

“Is dad home?” Anya asks as she pulls up the driveway of their family home. The exact same home they have lived in since Lexa moved in when Anya was eight. Anya had moved out now, as of last year, but it is still their home. It even looks the same – large white modern two-story house. The only difference would be the garden which is now full of flowers. Gus’ greatest passion.

“No,” Lexa states as she unbuckles her seat beat, “guy’s night”.

 “Ah how could I forget” Anya responds with a slight chuckle as she recalls the excessive shouting at the game on TV every time it was Gus’ turn to host and their house turned into a pub filled with neighbourhood dads.

“It’s alright. I’ll see him on Sunday”

“Sounds good” Lexa replies as she steps out of the car. She bends forward slightly to look at Anya and says “thanks for dinner”.

Anya shakes her head exaggeratedly as she accuses her little sister, “I knew you were just using me for food”

Lexa shoots her an unimpressed look.

“See you Sunday.”

The silence is almost deafening as Lexa opens the front door.

She releases a soft sigh as she thinks about her long day of classes tomorrow. She feels exhausted and heads straight upstairs to bed.

It does not take long for her mind to drift into unconsciousness.

She is surprised by the familiar shade of blue that greets her.

Not that she will remember in the morning.


End file.
